random dude: I really want to suck your dick
anon asked - favorite pictures of jonathan toews? (2/?)
I get insanely uncomfortable when people have their own selfies as their phone wallpaper.
My girlfriend’s rat dog doesn’t let me poop in peace
i gave my dog a tortilla chip ten minutes ago and she won’t fucking eat it she’s just staring at me with it in her mouth
she’s waiting for the salsa
"what music are you into?"
"i like this! it’s very grown up…"
FUCKING LOGGING OUT
I love Peppa Pig :’)
The cat’s like WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU BRING HOME
Today my dad texted my mum (they have been divorced for 12 years) completely out of nowhere and said “hello miss cranky pants”
New still of Chris Pratt in Jurassic World (2015)
i’m a heterosexual man and i’m screaming